Lindsay Lohan usually looks like Magda after waking up to find her face in the toilet of a crackhouse, so the artists who spread their Photoshop sorcery all over this mess can pat themselves on the taint as soon as their carpal tunnel clears up.
Blohan got ready for jail by posing for the cover of Maxim in a striped bikini I’m sure her ass wore during the swimsuit portion of the Miss Lynwood pageant. Bitch didn’t place. LiLo also continued to make White Oprah proud by showing off the strongest Lohan family trait (DELUSION) in her interview with Maxim:
We know you’ve had a very trying week, and we want you to know that Maxim loves you. How are you feeling right now?
I am feeling strong. I’ve experienced a lot in my life, and my mom has given me a lot of
pills and encouraging words of delusionfaith. This too shall pass.
You just had your birthday. What are you hoping for from the upcoming year?
To focus on myself
instead of focusing on the ground to keep from passing outand my work and to move all press on me to focus on the work I do. Also, I’d like to do more work in India and travel to Malawi.
What is your advice to others about how to cope with adversity?
Stay true to yourself always. At the end of the day, you have to look at yourself in the mirror
on the coffee tableand be content with the choices you’ve made, and will make, in your life. Go with your gut even if it’s filled with enough booze to keep The Hoff busy for a weekend!
….And hasn’t Malawi been through enough?!