Remember how Gisele Bundchen said that mothers who don’t breastfeed their babies should be shackled and thrown into prison for the rest of their lives? And remember how you drove by Gisele’s house last night and threw out a titty balloon full of spoiled milk with a note attached that read “Breastfeed on this so your bitch ass can shut up already!“. Remember that? If you don’t, you should go suckle on a bottle of Ginkgo, because this happened yesterday so your memory might be going. But I’m disgressing all over the place again!
Gisele went on her blog last night to clarify the “there should be a worldwide breastfeeding law” comment she made to Harper’s Bazaar UK. Gisele wrote:
My intention in making a comment about the importance of breastfeeding has nothing to do with the law. It comes from my passion and beliefs about children. Becoming a new mom has brought a lot of questions, I feel like I am in a constant search for answers on what might be the best for my child. It’s unfortunate that in an interview sometimes things can seem so black and white. I am sure if I would just be sitting talking about my experiences with other mothers, we would just be sharing opinions. I understand that everyone has their own experience and opinions and I am not here to judge. I believe that bringing a life into this world is the single most important thing a person can undertake and it can also be the most challenging. I think as mothers we are all just trying our best.
The next time Gisele doesn’t LITERALLY mean something, she should use the word LIT-TERALLY in front of it so we know not to take her statement seriously. Chupa knows what I’m talking about:
I literally want to a pass a worldwide law to literally force Chupa Zoe to literally never say the word literally again.