Brit Brit is in the fetal position on the kitchen floor this morning, because one of the men who gave her the meaning of life has gone off to heaven, where everything you touch leaves your hands looking like you just gave a hand job to a Cheez puff. Morrie Yohai, who helped to create the Cheez Doodle, died of cancer on July 27th at the age of 90.
Brit Brit usually starts her day with a bowl of Cheetos Puffs, Velveeta cheese and a sprinkling of Easy Mac dust, but this morning she’ll use Cheez Doodles in honor of Morrie. If it wasn’t for Morrie, she’d never have Cheetos Puffs, which means she wouldn’t have ANYTHING!
Morrie was born into a snack food dynasty, but he didn’t take over the family company until he graduated from Wharton and served some time in World War II. Back in 2005, Morrie talked to Newsday (via The State) about how they came up with the puffy dingle of deliciousness that melts in your mouth and sticks to your bowels forever.
“We were looking for another snack item,” he said. “We were fooling around and found out that there was a machine that extruded cornmeal and it almost popped like popcorn.”
Yohai and his partners thought of chopping the cornmeal product into pieces and coating it with cheese. “We wanted to make it as healthy as possible,” he said, “so it was baked, not fried.”
And, he said, the name Doodle occurred to him as they sat around a table tasting different kinds of cheese on the snacks.
Rest in peace, Morrie. We will all remember today as we stick a Cheez Doodle in our mouths and suck on it until it disintegrates all over our teeth. Just like a Cheez Doodle, life is a precious gift that only lasts a short time. Or is it that just like a Cheez Doodle, life is filled with a bunch of shit that not even a piece of floss can get out.
And I know Morrie died of cancer, but the police should still question Chester Cheetah.