If you’re a mother who does not breastfeed her newborn baby, Gisele Buttchin thinks you should be imprisoned immediately and forced to hand over your kid to Salma Hayek. Or something along those lines.
Gisele, who has been a mother for all of 8-months, thinks there should be a law on the books that states all mothers should squirt chichi leche into their babies’ mouths NO MATTER WHAT! Gisele tells Harper’s Bazaar (via Press Associated):
“I think breastfeeding really helped me keep my figure. Some people here (in the US) think they don’t have to breastfeed, and I think ‘Are you going to give chemical food to your child when they are so little?’ I think there should be a worldwide law, in my opinion, that mothers should breastfeed their babies for six months.”
The highly important committee that is in charge of passing worldwide laws will get on that as soon as they pass a law stating that Gisele Bundchen needs to keep her pie hole shut in public. No, but seriously…
I don’t know how easy breastfeeding is, but I’m sure if every mother could do it she would. I mean, why waste your money on formula when you can spend it on painkillers and other substances that will ease your nerves when baby is screeching in the middle of the night. Right?
And what about Barbie? If Barbie was a real-life human being she wouldn’t physically be able to breastfeed, because bitch doesn’t have any damn nipples*! Baby can polish its gums on her titties, but that’s about it! Gis needs to think about Barbie before she speaks!
*Barbie doesn’t have a vagina either, but that little fact doesn’t work with my point!