Jessica Simpson showed off the love she shares with her new paid piece Eric Johnson by Tweeting this picture of them kissing yesterday. Yeah, kissing. It looks more like a mama bird trying to resuscitate a slowly dying baby bird after it ate too many worms. Jessica had this to say about the picture:
Romance 101..getting kissed by my Yalie…me not lookin’ so smart…:) but YUM!
about 16 hours ago via UberTwitter
Since Jessica gently fucks her teeth with a toothbrush only once a week, Eric is also screaming YUM on the inside. Eric is getting a full balanced meal out of this kiss. A little Korean BBQ, a few waffle cone chunks, etc… Put your lips on Jessica and leave with a full stomach! Kirstie Alley just raised her hand to ask if Jessica is planning on opening up a kissing booth anytime soon.
I love how Jessica’s pointing out that her piece went to Yale. This is the closest Jessica will ever get to going to Yale since that time she caught a rerun of Beverly Hills 90210 where Andrea decides to go to California University instead of Yale. Bitch is still closer to going to Yale than my ass is. I should be jealous.
And Jessica really doesn’t have to worry about ever looking smart. Why bother? If Jessica was photographed wearing a Harvard valedictorian sash while holding a Mensa card, I still think the last thing anybody would say is, “Fuck, she looks smart here.”
Here’s Jessica taking her Yalie to dinner in NYC the other night. UsWeekly says that Eric dropped out of the Wharton School to travel around with Jessica. And who said gold digging isn’t a major?!