Since Lindsay Lohan is unable to fully represent us drunk slutty wrecks out there, Tara Reid has come out of retirement in a big way to take her place. And to show us all that when LiLo was making movies with talking cars and shit, she was the one who was flashing her drunk chocha to the paps and passing out in bushes like it’s an Olympic sport.
Here’s Tara partying on a yacht in St. Tropez with Dennis Rodman and her on-and-off-again piece Michael Assman. It’s like you’re looking into a crystal ball and seeing your weekend. But except for sitting on the lap of a glittermeister on a yacht in France, you’ll be sipping Boones Farms from a paper bag while sitting on a parking block in front of an IHOP somewhere. It’s practically the same thing.
And you know Tara is all sorts of tanked if Michael Assman is actually grabbing onto her titty to keep her from eating floor. Michael must be used to it. He just pretends like he’s holding onto ASKars’ ass cheek instead. You can see it in his eyes.