Mad Mel Goes Out With A Sigh

July 29, 2010 / Posted by:

The end has come! Maybe. Possibly. I think. Radar has posted what could possibly be the finale in their Melocaust on Our Souls series. Mel Gibson surprisingly doesn’t end things by screaming out the word cunt until even Lucifer sticks plugs in his ears and sends Mel a basket filled with the good shit, an enema, a jar of jacuzzi water, Sleepytime Tea and a Fleshlight in the shape of Eva Braun’s mouth.

The rage pores on Mel’s tonsils have finally silenced him and he tells OctoSana in his last voicemail to her: “I want to talk reasonably about schedules and how we — I haven’t got a voice left — how we go further, ummmm — just reasonably. There is no passion left, anyway, so I don’t need to get mad.

Mel doesn’t even throw in one last “stupid cunt whore.” He sounds defeated, sad and likes he’s cradling his Hitler Teddy Bear while sucking his thumb. I’m on the edge of feeling sorry for him, but then I stop myself because this could be a trick! It’s like at the end of The Good Son when evil ass Macauly Culkin is begging Wendy Crewson to save him instead of Elijah Wood. And she’s almost falling for it, but then she sees the crazy twinkling in his, so she let’s go. It’s kind of like that.

BUT SERIOUSLY, maybe Mel sounds so calm because he finally got a FUCKING BLOW JOB BEFORE JACUZZI! That’s the sound of release.

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