Katie Price thinks that Harvey, Princess Tiamamameckaleckahimeckahineyho and Junior should all send her and Peter Andre thank you notes for making them the luckiest children ever by getting divorced. They aren’t lucky because they no longer have to listen to the loud slurping noises Katie made when she ate on Peter’s ass. No, Katie says that they are lucky because they now get twice as many presents and vacations!
On This Morning Katie told the hosts, “I think it’s probably good I split with Pete when they were so young. I was about their age when my parents got divorced and I can’t even remember it, so hopefully they won’t either. They’re lucky really, all kids with divorced parents are lucky because they get extra Christmas presents and trips out and two sets of birthday presents.”
At first I thought Katie had a point, and then I went to peek into the treasure box filled with all the presents my dad bought me after my parents divorced. Guess what? It was fucking empty! The only thing my dad ever got me was a stupid acid washed jean jacket from Miller’s Outpost. I lost that shit the next day during gymnastics lessons at SCATS. Yes, I lost the jacket in a place called SCATS. Symbolism.
My mom pretty much worked until her hand bones cracked into a million pieces just so she could buy us presents at Christmas times, so I really hope my lost acid wash jean jacket somehow ends up on Katie’s doorstep. Then I hope Harvey takes that jacket and shoves it in Katie’s mouth! And once he does that, Harvey should take Katie to the plastic surgeon’s office. I’m pretty sure that during her last boob job, the plastic surgeon put the silicone bag in the wrong tit. He put it in the tit on her neck instead of the tit on her chest.