Things That Exist: Titanic II

July 28, 2010 / Posted by:

SPOILER ALERT! At the end of Titanic, the ship becomes an underwater motel for fishes, a bunch of people die and Rose grows up to be a crazy old bitch who throws a multi-million dollar necklace into the ocean when her granddaughter is living in a damn dump! THE END, right? Wrong. The fart will go on thanks to Titanic II (pinch that shit, it’s real).

In Titanic II, a group of dumb fucks build a Titanic II and launch it on the same day as the original and use the same course……and they probably hit THE SAME ICEBERG! That iceberg has been waiting for a rematch.

The only bitches who would ride on the Titanic II are the same bitches who answer “Jack Kevorkian” to the question “Who would you like to have dinner with the most?

This mess is going to stink straight to the bottom of a Dollar Tree 4 for 1 bin, where I’ll probably fish it out and buy it. Well, I want to know if Sharktopus gets them before the snakes do.

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