Mad Mel Outdoes Himself

“Glum cunt” and “Smile and Blow Me” are both strong contenders for the tagline for the eventual Mel Gibson mini-series starring OctoMom as OctoSana and a geriatric Aye-Aye as Mel. But now there’s a last-minute tagline possibility courtesy of Radar.

Radar posted a series of verbal barf bomb Mad Mel dropped into OctoSana’s voicemail starting on February 18th, the day of they buried the placenta (not a euphemism). The first message pretty much sums Mel up for me. Whenever I happen to glance at a freshly shat out raisin in the toilet, I will immediately think of Mel and then I’ll think of him uttering out that first message.

In case you don’t want your co-workers to think you’re being attacked by a deranged FrankenMel, he basically blurts out: “Arghhh. Arghhhhhh. Arghhhhh. Argh. Argh. I called.” That’s it! Bitch sounds like a constipated pirate who is just begging to be kicked off the plank into a sea of Jewish sharks who have Radar bookmarked on their iPhones. Every monster’s dictionary only has the word “arghhhhh” in it, so it makes sense that Mel burps that out so well!

If you prefer your Mel with a heaping side of cunts and fucks, he gives you a lot of that in these voicemails too. Classic Mel.