Blood has been shed at Comic Con! And the blood didn’t come from the peen of a nerd who fapped himself raw after seeing Blake Lively’s chichis live and in person. No, the blood came from a dude who refused to move seats right before the panel for Resident Evil: Afterlife. File this under: You might be an over obsessed nerd who is suffering from Asbestos poisoning if….
The L.A Times has the details:
The two men got into an argument about one sitting too close to the other, Stafford said, “Two friends had an argument and one guy ended up going to the hospital with a scratch near his eye.”
One of the men reportedly struck the other man near the eye with a pen.
The suspect was arrested and booked for assault with a deadly weapon, Stafford said.
The man who suffered the cut near his eye reportedly asked to be examined at the hospital as a precaution.
The Shanker of Comic Con was going to stab his friend in the eye with the knife from his rare mint condition G.I. Joe Spearhead action figure, but he didn’t want to take it out of its packaging so he used a pen instead. That shit is cold, though. How can the victim fully enjoy a 10-minute preview of a movie that is coming out in a couple of months when he’s only got one working eye!? Couldn’t the dude in the Harry Potter t-shirt stab his friend in a body part he doesn’t use as much (insert your suggestions here)?
Comic Con is seriously just like the streets of East L.A., and nerds are just like cholitas. Well, almost. Instead of exquisite Sharpie eyebrows, nerds have a pair of bushy brows that have never been touched by Tweezers and are rarely exposed to sunlight. Instead of having a tear drop prison tattoo under their eye, nerds have a crusty tear drop on their face from seeing the entire cast of The Avengers on the same stage together (they will never wipe off that crusty tear drop). SEE! Pretty much the same. Nerds are the cholas of Comic Con!
And since I brought up Blake Lively’s chichis at the beginning of this post, here she is with Ryan Reynolds and Peter Sarsgaard at The Green Lantern panel yesterday. Bitch’s outfit makes me want to BIC myself in the eye.