Pigeon shit is the new booooo! The Kings of Leon had to quit a show in St. Louis on Friday after only 3 songs when they couldn’t take the shower of pigeon shit falling on top of them. The two bands who opened for them came off stage looking like park statutes, but the Kings of Leon decided to go on anyways. Maybe they figured the pigeons might be KOL fans. The pigeons are not fans, because they puckered up their assholes and dropped shit bomb after shit bomb on those bitches.
The band’s manager told CNN that Jared Followill (seen above) got it the worst, “Jared was hit several times during the first two songs. On the third song, when he was hit in the cheek and some of it landed near his mouth, they couldn’t deal any longer. It’s not only disgusting — it’s a toxic health hazard. They really tried to hang in there.” Jared whined in, “I was hit by pigeons on each of the first three songs. We had 20 songs on the set list. By the end of the show, I would have been covered from head to toe.”
The band threw the “I’m Sowwies” at their fans for canceling the show and said they will make it up to them in the near future. You know what that means: RE-FUCKING-MATCH! This pigeon has reloaded and is ready to blow:
Here I was thinking that pigeons were only good at grossing me out by pecking at dog shit and rotten egg sandwiches on the sidewalk. But now we know the real reason why Noah added a pigeon to his arc! It was so the pigeons can assemble giant armies of shit bombers to rid the public of annoying hos.
The pigeons are going to need a bigger request box! They can start with the Lohans. Although, the Lohans are already used to taste of shit in their mouths, so they might be immune.