Do The Poopy Pigeons Take Requests?

July 25, 2010 / Posted by:

Pigeon shit is the new booooo! The Kings of Leon had to quit a show in St. Louis on Friday after only 3 songs when they couldn’t take the shower of pigeon shit falling on top of them. The two bands who opened for them came off stage looking like park statutes, but the Kings of Leon decided to go on anyways. Maybe they figured the pigeons might be KOL fans. The pigeons are not fans, because they puckered up their assholes and dropped shit bomb after shit bomb on those bitches.

The band’s manager told CNN that Jared Followill (seen above) got it the worst, “Jared was hit several times during the first two songs. On the third song, when he was hit in the cheek and some of it landed near his mouth, they couldn’t deal any longer. It’s not only disgusting — it’s a toxic health hazard. They really tried to hang in there.” Jared whined in, “I was hit by pigeons on each of the first three songs. We had 20 songs on the set list. By the end of the show, I would have been covered from head to toe.

The band threw the “I’m Sowwies” at their fans for canceling the show and said they will make it up to them in the near future. You know what that means: RE-FUCKING-MATCH! This pigeon has reloaded and is ready to blow:

Here I was thinking that pigeons were only good at grossing me out by pecking at dog shit and rotten egg sandwiches on the sidewalk. But now we know the real reason why Noah added a pigeon to his arc! It was so the pigeons can assemble giant armies of shit bombers to rid the public of annoying hos.

The pigeons are going to need a bigger request box! They can start with the Lohans. Although, the Lohans are already used to taste of shit in their mouths, so they might be immune.

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87 responses to “Do The Poopy Pigeons Take Requests?”

  1. The Mad Catter says:

    Seriously, if I was a fan, I’d be done with their asses if they stopped a set due to “pigeon shit” and then came out with their lame ass statement “It’s a health hazard!! It got near his lip!!!”. Give me a fucking break with the hysterics, you’re supposed to be a fucking rock band. Ozzy Ozbourne bit the head off of a live bad and you can’t take a little bit of pigeon shit?? The lead singer looks like he likes his groupies to drop a huge hot turd on his chest and he can’t deal with a bird shitting on him?


    19 Cats and Counting!


    What the underlying loop inside all of this really is
    1974 someone used satellite time and brain cephalics (same thing), to view me, in 19764, in walking with my

  2. Frost says:

    That pigeon has “Hot Slut” written all over it. That’s pure “Bitch, don’t think I wouldn’t cut you if I had the chance” in those eyes.

    Are you gonna bark all day, little doggie, or are you you gonna bite?

  3. DeathStarJones says:

    The pigeon seems to be thinking “Bring it.”

  4. LisaL says:

    I would’ve thrown those pigeons a fucking parade. Kings of Leon fucking SUCK!. OMG I hate their whiney ass songs so god damn much.

  5. squiggles says:

    I have a horrible bird phobia, particularly with these flying rats, so I can’t really blame them. I had 2 fly into my apartment on separate occasions. I hate them so much I actually called one an asshole out loud when it flew up in my face the other day. Yes, I’m disturbed.

  6. Caramel says:

    So much for being rockers-what a bunch of pussies.

  7. Granny Frump says:

    “I was hit by pigeons on each of the first three songs. We had 20 songs on the set list. By the end of the show, I would have been covered from head to toe.”

    As if! What makes him think the pidgeons would have hung around for the whole shitty set?

  8. Snarf says:

    This sort of thing wouldn’t have phased Ozzy.

    Shiitake happens…

  9. mike says:

    I’d love to see their contract rider after this incident.

  10. TheBreakdown says:

    I would have quit that bitch after the first DROP landed on my person!

    Pigeons are rats with wings, disgusting, disease carrying vermins, akin to Parasite Hilton!

    I hope they update their riders accordingly for future dates!

    Facebook: Triston Negreaux
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  11. Vern says:

    wouldn’t the audience be getting hit also?
    just how long would it take to figure out the band is shit?

    “Hail NO!” MK as god

  12. Raul Duke says:

    “Jared was hit several times during the first two songs. On the third song, when he was hit in the cheek and some of it landed near his mouth, they couldn’t deal any longer. It’s not only disgusting, but performing ATM with a pigeon is something you want to do behind closed doors!” ************************************************************************************ Life is an adventure, explore!

  13. SallyTomato says:

    At first, I thought that was a pic of the homophobe from the current Real World…

    While I am one of “those people” who liked KOL many moons ago and now wants to hang herself with her own colon every time she hears “Use Somebody”, my 40 year old ass has had a thing for Jared for some time now. I may be cured of that…

  14. elmo533 says:

    Pigeons are rats with wings. Getting shit on by one is unexceptable. I woulda quit that bitch too.

    “Whoever it is needs to come down to the subways in NYC in August. With every ho wearing flip-flops, it sometimes smells like a family of horseflies died in a 2-week-old pot of fondue.” MK

  15. onthefringe says:


    Catskill Animal Sanctuary

  16. xerquina says:

    what pussies! didn’t the Who perform while bitches were getting asphyxiated?!

  17. dusted says:

    Totally thought that was Justin Bieber at first glance.

  18. mike says:

    The pigeons were just performing their own US version of the “Loveparade” for ya, Jared!

  19. madam s. says:

    Ahhaha… that pigeon photo is awesome. I don’t understand the dislike of pigeons, they’re cute and hang out with us. Maybe we should start the Pigeon Press back up and put them to work.

  20. onthefringe says:

    Judging by the pictures, that guy is no match for that pigeon.

    Catskill Animal Sanctuary

  21. Green Is Good says:

    I’ve been giggling for the past 10 minutes after reading this and all the fecking hilarious comments from you sluts! Oh, this is too funny.

    @squiggles, you calling a pigeon an asshole has me crying from laughing!!!

  22. Manimal5 says:

    Submitted by Snarf on Sun, 07/25/2010 – 12:15pm.
    This sort of thing wouldn’t have phased Ozzy.


  23. p-sav says:

    The band is crap.It should have just blended into what the birds were dropping.

  24. Lory says:

    Submitted by dusted on Sun, 07/25/2010 – 12:37pm.

    Totally thought that was Justin Bieber at first glance.
    Me too!!!!!! Further proof that Kings of Leon are nothing but Justin Bieber with guitars…

    Let me dirty up your mind.

  25. LMA618 says:

    I liked them when they had beards and were all oakied out. Sell outs.

  26. vidz says:

    A scarlet ibis took a MASSIVE stinky shit on me from tree height when I was working in the zoo.

    Still better than a boa regurgitating in your hair, slowly constricting you to death and taking a swipe at ya while all the patronizing Americans clap enthusiastically without a clue.


    Bitch please!

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