WONDER CUTLETS!!!!!

Don’t try to shoot bullets made of dignity at Poultrydise Island’s very own Wonder Cutlets, because she will only block them with her powerful plastic cuffs bought on clearance at a Spencer’s Gift in the Valley. Any pap trying to run away to photograph a bigger superstar (an impossible mission since one does not exist) will be caught by Wonder Culets’ attention catching lasso!

Here’s the saffron sprinkled wonder Phoebe Price, who is always sitting in an invisible plane, bringing her signature ho stroll poses to The Gathering of the Nerdaloos (aka Comic Con) in San Diego yesterday.

This is why Lynda Carter was found shuffling along the highway and mumbling to herself about how her life no longer has meaning since Phoebe Price does it better. Carrie Fisher will soon be joining Lynda on What Does It All Mean Lane, because Chicken Cutlets later slipped into a Princess Leia costume.

Mothers of fanboys better hide the frozen cutlets in the garage freezer, because their sons can’t wait to tear that shit up when they get back from Comic Con. Chicken Alfredo is what’s for dinner!