Judge Marsha originally announced that our “World Without Lindsay” party would last 90 days, and then the Sheriff’s Department popped a few balloons and said LiLo’s sentence has been reduced 14 days. Well, blink the lights and declare it LAST CALL, because Radar is saying that Judge Marsha just Shawshanked 2 more days off her sentence for time she served a million years ago. That means White Oprah’s child will be out before July ends. And you know she’s going to run straight to The Insider to say she’s a changed person now that she’s experienced life on the inside. White Oprah is picking out her redemption leggings right now.
Another source tells Radar that LiLo’s lawyer Shawn Chapman Holley is working to get her out even earlier. The source added, “Lindsay’s team is doing everything they can to get her out of jail this weekend.”
All of this is due to overcrowding. OVERCROWDING! Isn’t there somewhere we can put her ass? Alcatraz has all those empty cells just itching to get a piece of LiLo! Throw her in there. If that’s not going to work, just sit her ass in the bathroom of a 76 gas station in Riverside. We’ll all take turns watching the door.
Whenever LiLo gets out of the clink she’s supposed to spend 90 days in rehab, but I won’t be surprised if that doesn’t happen. The judge will tell her to watch half an episode of Intervention while wearing a D.A.R.E. t-shirt and they’ll call it even!