Cameron Diaz Isn’t Looking For An 80 Year Long Fuck

July 23, 2010 / Posted by:

Cameron “I’m Always Traveling For Cock” Diaz thinks that some of us grow up believing that we will all meet that one person we will want to spend the rest of our days with. That one person who will give you the awwws in the heart during your first kiss, and will still give you the awwws in the heart 60 years later when they accidentally shit in the bed. Cameron really isn’t into that mess, and says that maybe we should be on the hunt for a bitch to fuck for the next 5 years instead of 80 years. If Cameron said “5 days,” she would’ve mouth farted the new ho shit motto!

Cameron tells Stylist Magazine (via USA Today), “I think the big misconception in our society is that we’re supposed to meet the one when we’re 18 and we’re supposed to get married to them and love them for the rest of our lives.Who would want to be with the same person for 80 years? Why not break it up a little bit? … Have someone for five years and another person for another five years. Life is long and lucky and yes, love might last forever, but you don’t always live with the person you love forever.””

It’s true that the only thing that wants to spend the rest of its life with Cameron Diaz is a bottle of Proactiv, but maybe the trick has a point. We’re in the Golden Age of WHORES (YAY!!!), so it doesn’t take much for us to get thirsty for another set of genitals. Is there really a peen or poon out there that you’ll still want to lick on in 30 years like it’s a scoop of Chocolate Malted Crunch ice cream from Thrifty’s?

I would tell CHERYL BURKE that she’s the most luxurious mop in the bucket if Mah Boo Anderson Cooper agreed to flash his Vanderballs at me. But do I really want to look at Mah Boo’s peen for 80 damn years?………Wait….Where was I? My train of thought just crashed into a field of silver and I’m not getting back on.

Here’s Cameron Diaz with Tommy Girl at the London premiere of Knight & Gay last night. Look at Tommy stand on his tippy toes in his platform heels! Stretch, girl, streeeeeetch…

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