OctoSana Is Under Investigation

Mel Gibson isn’t the only one who has a file with the L.A. County Sheriff’s Department that is thicker than the hemorrhoid on top of his neck. A rep for the sheriff’s office confirms to the NYDN that they have opened up an investigation into the claims from Mel Gibson’s side that Oksana Grigorieva tried to extort millions of dollars out of him in exchange for the tapes we all play for the bill collectors who come calling for a coin. Instead of hanging up on the bill collectors, just put the phone over your laptop speaker and let Mel Gibson scare them off. Yes, the bill collector will probably triple your late fee, but you might get a blow job out of it!

The rep from the sheriff’s office wouldn’t give up any details, but a source tells The Hollywood Reporter that Mel has several text messages and e-mails from OctoSana revealing the reasons why she secretly recorded his rants. The source went on to say that Mel had previously agreed to give OctoSana $15 million in a settlement agreement. When Mel backed out of the deal, OctoSana began to hit the record button during her phone conversations with him.

The sheriff’s department needs to open a third investigation into Mel Gibson trying to extort our souls with his lethal weapon of a voice.

They might call it “extortion,” but I call “bitch is just trying to get hers.” You can’t just offer a gold digger $15 million and then Moonwalk away from the promise. It’s not like OctoSana put a shovel to Mel’s head and told him to call her “a cunt whore who deserves to get raped” before blowing her. You don’t fuck with a gold digger like that. In the “NOT THE ONE” pyramid, gold diggers are right under memaws.