Don’t Call Him Gaycrest, So Says Julianne Hough

July 22, 2010 / Posted by:

According to Julianne Hough, Gaycrest is not trying to pretend he’s hugging a gigantic erect penis in the picture above. Julianne and Gaycrest having been sharing each other’s lip gloss for a couple of months now, and recently she was overheard telling friends that she’s not on payroll as his full-time beard.

While at a birthday party at Morton’s Steakhouse in North Carolina the other night, 22-year-old Julianne apparently told one of her friends: “He was after me since I was 18 … he totally wasn’t my type … I thought he was gay. After a few years, he was persistent … so I went out with him on a date and I realized how much I liked him.”

Then Julianne went on to say: “So he’s not a dick gobbler, he’s a barely legal hunter! Gaycrest…I mean…Straightcrest loves vagina. V-A-G-I-N-A. No, Ryan doesn’t call me Derek when I pinch the Seacrest outie on his butt. No, we didn’t seal our love with a signature on a contract. No, he didn’t write all of this down for me. No, I am not shouting because he told me to talk loud enough for strangers to hear.”

And that cackling you hear is coming from Paula Abdul. Somebody tell her to shush her lips with a Vicodin, because we all have to play along!

(Image via Bauer Griffin)

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