Angel Is Out Of Control

July 22, 2010 / Posted by:

When we last left David Boreanaz, he had publicly admitted to passing the peen around behind his wife’s back after one of his former side-pieces tried to get money out of him in exchange for her silence. The side-piece’s attorney was none other than Gloria Allred, a cheating celebrity’s worst fucking nightmare. Well, David and Gloria will whip out their dicks and battle it out once again. And if Gloria’s latest client is telling the truth, David won’t have a problem with whipping it out.

Actress Kristina Hagan (pictured with David Boringanus above) has dropped a lawsuit in his lap claiming he sexually harassed last August while she was an extra on his show Bones (appropriate show title is appropriate).

In the lawsuit, Kristina says that David first approached her to ask for her headshot and cell number. David told her he was the boss and could make things happen for her. Usually when someone tells you they are the boss and can make things happen for you, it just means they want you to blow into their peen hole while massaging their nutsack. Trust me. I’ve learned this the hard way. That Best Buy assistant supervisor never got me that discount on a Wii.

In August 2009, David started sending her nasty filthy dirty text messages including a picture of his peen. A month later, Kristina was driving in a car with David when he pulled over and tried to kiss on her. When Kristina refused, he whipped his dick out and did sex to himself until he came. It doesn’t stop there! A few weeks later, David once again jacked off in front of Kristina in his trailer. Kristina states that he kept promising her acting roles, but the only thing she received was a nostril full of Eau de Angel Jizz.

Kristina is also suing Fox, because they ignored her when she complained about David.

David’s rep says that every part of Kristina’s story is false.

The only question I have about this is why the fuck isn’t David on House?! They will give you a bonus if you walk around the set with your dick hanging out of your fly. And they will make you Employee of the Year if you jack off into the coffee filters. All of David’s kind of people are there!

Okay, I lied, I have a second question. When is Kristina going to leak a HQ picture of David’s dong? I have to clear my schedule.

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