This news makes me happier than the time I successfully turned my eyelids inside/out after trying for hours. No, I’m not talking about the news that Christina Applegate’s womb is currently being invaded by a fetus who might cause her to caca herself when it comes out. Don’t ask me why (no, really…don’t), but the other night I spent way too long reading about the labor shits.
Anydiarrheaplacentacasserole, the good news is that Christina announced that she’s expecting a BABY!!! with her fiance Martyn Lenoble (who is giving me puckery Dolph Lundgren vibes) without declaring that she also leaped over the moon like other assholes. YES! Christina gives me hopes that we will soon celebrate the extinction of moon jumping! Christina will make a perfect mother for that fact alone. And she will really really make a perfect mother if she names her baby New Allante.