When Lindsay Lohan showed up to court this morning to begin her role in CAGED HEAT: FUCK U, somebody threw a bunch of glittery confetti all over her. Maybe it was Cookie Puss and Fudgie the Whale simultaneously blowing their loads. Or maybe Stuart V. Goldberg was there to say goodbye and he sneezed as she walked by. Probably the latter.
Not much happened in court today. LiLo showed up a few minutes late and put on one of her signature bitchefaces as Judge Marsha told her on-and-off-again lawyer Shawn Chapman Holley that there would be no house arrest (ala Parasite Hilton) or work order. LiLo will have to serve her entire sentence in the cokey (typo, but I’ll keep it for her), but it looks like she’ll only serve around 23 days due to overcrowding.
Judge Marsha ordered that all cameras shut their eyes while LiLo be taken into custody, so sadly there’s no pictures of her being dragged away in cuffs. You’ll have to find something else to use as your wallpaper this week.
And since White Oprah and LiLo were practically wearing the same thing, I was hoping that the bailiff would take both of them away to make sure they got the right Lohan. That means White Oprah will be loudly weeping and moaning on the famewhore stroll for the next few months. We all lose.