The Linda Lovelace biopic isn’t going to start shooting until Lindsay Lohan finishes up her jail sentence and 90 days in rehab, but the movie’s director is already talking about all the shots he has planned for us. Director Matthew Wilder tells Radar that LiLo will bare her carniceria in that shit. Cut to your eyeballs screaming: “Been there, done that, still have the barf film on my retinas.”
Matthew says, “There will be full frontal nudity. But it will not be cinematic nudity – it will be more violent nudity. For example, linked images of the Vietnam war – that kind of context. It’s not a porn movie, it’s an artistic movie about a porn star. We will not see Lindsay performing oral sex, but there could be some clever play with black boxes or other cinematic tricks that the viewer may see.”
The fuck? Cinematic nudity? So I guess we won’t see sweeping shots of LiLo’s crotch critters galloping along her labia as a John Williams score swells to a climax. Instead we’ll get shots of her clit and cooch lips reenacting scenes from Platoon (aka Plapoon). Are we sure Max Bialystock and Leo Bloom aren’t producing this mess?