Remember once upon a time two summers ago when we woke up every morning wondering what 90s pop song would fill our heads once we looked at the daily pictures of Stepford Katie shuffling all weepy-like to rehearsal in her rolled-up jeans? We’d point and hahaha at her ass for being a try-hard asshole who was failing at trying to make rolled-up jeans happen. And then we’d secretly run into our bedroom, roll up our jeans, put on a BOSS sweater and dance around to an A’Me Lorain song (now whistle). Just ignore that last part if that’s not how you remember it.
Well, Stepford Katie is now trying to turn summer ’10 into the season of flared jeans! Do not give in! If you flare out, the aliens have won! Alright, maybe the ho is not trying to make them happen, but I just really wanted to make an A’Me Lorain reference. Besides, Katie is probably only flaring out, because she’s smuggling Tommy Girl in one of her jean legs. Tommy had a breakout of genital warts on his mouth, so he’s not camera fresh ready.
Here’s more of Stepford Katie arriving in NYC today and also at the premiere of The Extra Man with Kevin Kline and Paul Dano. I just swallowed an entire plate of cheese fries, so I’ll be nice and say that Stepford Katie doesn’t totally look like she’s trying to bring new meaning to the word haggard. ……Although, bitch should bury those shoes under Plymouth Rock. And she should also give that Fourth of July dress back to the Bush family member she stole it from. Okay, maybe I need to eat another plate of cheese fries.