It’s Monday, so you’re probably dropping fuck bombs in your cubicle like Mel Gibson in need a blow. So why not bump your fuck bombs with Tiger Woods‘ fuck bombs (put a condom on your tongue first). At Saturday’s British Open, Tiger let the fuck word leap off of his tongue after he missed a putt on the 13th hole.
Tiger focused hard on getting that ball in and it failed him. Tiger tried to picture the hole as his mouth and the ball as a giant Ambien. That didn’t help him focus. Tiger tried to picture the hole as a cocktail waitress’ snatch and the ball as an anal bead (It’s Tiger, he’s kinky), but that didn’t help. Tiger tried to picture the hole as Gloria Allred’s mouth and the ball as a giant plug, but obviously that didn’t do the trick either. When Tiger missed the shot, he muttered to himself, “Why the fuck did you do that?”
“Why the fuck did you do that?” and Tiger Woods are so perfect for each other that he should probably get that shit tattooed on his tongue.