Lindsay Lohan Is Turning Denial Into An Art Form

Lindsay Lohan, seen here Photoshopped to Fuck U and back on Complex Magazine, is living in a fantasy dream world where she thinks that she’s going to skip into court tomorrow morning and Judge Marsha will tell her that Fudgie the Whale has agreed to serve her 90-day jail sentence for her. Fudgie will tell LiLo that he owes this to her for wronging her family. Then Judge Marsha is going to snap her fingers and LiLo’s Scram anklet will explode into a cloud of whiskey-coated Adderall pills! Yes, this is what’s going to happen.

A source tells TMZ that even though LiLo’s lawyer Robert Shapiro has told everyone that she will start serving her jail sentence tomorrow, she still doesn’t think that she’s going to spend a second behind bars. LiLo’s thought bubble of delusion is carrying the idea that Robert Shapiro will convince Judge Marsha to magically erase her sentence.

Meanwhile, instead of doing internet research on how to make fake tanner out of prison cheese and roach guts, LiLo is Twittering about her ex-father:

I don’t want my ex-father anywhere near me no matter where I am. He is crazy and scares me.
about 16 hours ago via UberTwitter

I don’t want Michael Lohan Sr. anywhere near me, no matter where I am. I am in a great place and he only brings negativity in my world.
about 16 hours ago via UberTwitter

IN A GREAT PLACE?! Did she Tweet that from the bottom of a Jack Daniels bottle? I mean, this trick is going to jail and she thinks everything is just pink dildos and pretty lalalalas. Although in her defense, being locked up without White Oprah around to sniff your asshole for a quarter does sound kind of great.

Here’s a few more pictures of LiLo getting molested by Mickey Mouse (symbolism) in Complex.