Lindsay Lohan Will Go To The Chokey, So Says Robert Shapiro

July 17, 2010 / Posted by:

When Lindsay Lohan checked herself into Robert Shapiro’s House of Sober Living, my ass figured it was just her way of trying to get out of sitting in a jail room. But her lawyer Robert Shapiro says this isn’t so and tells UsWeekly that LiLo will start serving her 90-day jail sentence on Tuesday morning. Robert said:

“I have agreed to represent Ms. Lohan on the condition that she complies with all of the terms of her probation, including a requirement of jail time that was imposed by Judge Marsha Revel. Ms. Lohan is suffering from a disease that I am all too familiar with (FYI: Robert’s son died of a drug overdose in 2005). Hopefully, I can be of assistance to Ms. Lohan and Judge Revel in implementing a treatment approach recommended by medical professionals for Ms. Lohan’s long term recovery and sobriety.”

What were you saying, Robert? I was too wrapped up in the image of me lounging on one of your brows in front of a roaring fireplace with a glass of Andre in one hand and a chocolate covered strawberry in the other. I don’t mind the rug burns.

But seriously, Robert is actually telling us that LiLo has a serious craving for the bad shit and needs to get that mess worked out. Can somebody please put a mic under White Oprah’s mouth and then hit her with it? After you do that, ask her what she thinks of Robert’s statement about her sober child needing help. “OH! He didn’t mind THAT kind of disease. He meant that he sometimes suffers from the delusions like all of us!….Oh and fuck Fudgie the Whale!” – White Oprah

Here’s Robert and Enablerham Lincoln visiting LiLo yesterday afternoon.

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