Roman Polanski Is Free

Great news for ludes! Bad news for tween anuses! The Ricola dudes blew the alpenhorn today and hollered from the hill tops that Roman Polanski can freely sashay out of his Swiss chalet without a care in the world.

Switzerland will not hand Roman over to the U.S. after all. Last year, Little Debbie politely asked Swiss Miss (Yes, I visualize every situation with food mascots in the starring roles) to extradite Roman to the US to face charges for drugging and ass raping a 13-year-old girl in 1977. Switzerland kept Roman on house arrest in his fancy Swiss chalet for the past 9 months.

Swiss officials say that they are letting him go, because the U.S. hasn’t given them a bunch of shit they asked for. The New York Times explains:

Ms. Widmer-Schlumpf said the American authorities had rejected a request by her ministry for records of a hearing by the prosecutor in the case, Roger Gunson, in January 2010 which should have established whether the judge who tried the case in 1977 had assured Mr. Polanski that time he spent in a psychiatric unit would constitute the whole of the period of imprisonment he would serve.

“If this were the case, Roman Polanski would actually have already served his sentence and therefore both the proceedings on which the U.S. extradition request is founded and the request itself would have no foundation,” the Swiss Justice Ministry said in a statement.

So there you go. The hills are now alive with the sound of PedoBear weeping tears of joy!