Mr. Goldberg Is Also A Poet

Stuart V. Goldberg not only looks like he slipped out of Liberace’s urethra, but he is also a delicate poet of Shakespearean proportions. Mr. Goldberg sings to People that he spent several hours with White Oprah and Lindsay Lohan this weekend to discuss the possibility of representing her in The State vs. DELUSION. Contrary to the rumor going around that LiLo felt Mr. Goldberg was too eccentric for her, he claims that he’s the one who decided not to sprinkle his glitter on the case.

Mr. Goldberg also gave his opinion on the state of Lindsay Lohan and he showed us that he should really be writing songs for Don Ho to sing up in a dinner theater in heaven. Mr. Goldberg flipped his silvery wave of hair, did a kick, ball, change and sang:

“My impression of Lindsay is that she’s a fragile lost child – a sleeping beauty with her head in the sand. I found her not fully forewarned of the consequence of her actions. I’m concerned that she’s not disciplined or tethered enough to the reality of adult consequences. She doesn’t seem to have the awareness of what’s going to befall her.

My real worry for her is not just the jail time, but my fear is that she’s overly susceptible to a probation system that’s set up for her to fail.”

The beginning part of that quote proves that Just For Men hair dye combined with fake tanner does indeed create a toxic fume that eats at brain cells. NO! Mr. Goldberg has a kind heart unlike us. While he says that Lindsay is a “sleeping beauty with her head in the sand,” we say that she is a delusional dopehead with her head up her own ass. Mr. Goldberg is a better human being (?) than all of us.