Before making her way to Amnesty International’s offices, White Oprah stopped by Entertainment Tonight to speak about Judge Marsha’s unfair decision to throw her child into an air-conditioned room for a few weeks. White Oprah really is the Gloria Steinem of shit moms.
In an interview airing tonight, White Oprah’s tears of delusion formed a giant cross of delusion, which she nailed herself to using nails of delusions and continued to spew vomit of delusion while the peasants below shook their heads and continued to file their nails.
White Oprah, who looks and acts so much like her child that it’s making SCRAMs cry, pretty much gives an encore performance of her daughter’s crocodile-sponsored courtroom plea. And just like with LiLo, I think we’re all spelling out “FUCK U” with our eye rolls. If you’re not medicated enough to handle the clip above, here’s some quotes. White Oprah is funny!
White Oprah on if her child will survive jail: “You know, she’s strong, but until someone faces something as devastating as that…we’re going to have to see. God willing, it won’t happen.”
White Oprah being funny again: “She’s a fighter, and until the final result — we’re not giving up. I think it’s time we get another attorney just to see it from another light and do damage control.”
White Oprah still being funny: “If she wants a trial, then make it a fair trial. I feel like Shawn [Chapman Holley], Lindsay’s [former] attorney should have stood up and said, ‘Listen, I didn’t know you were going to have witnesses.’ We would have had ten witnesses. We didn’t get a shot. We didn’t get a shot at fairness.”
White Oprah on how the Dilaudid tea they drink every night is not working: “It’s very difficult, we’re not sleeping well, we’re not functioning. We cry a lot and we hug a lot. She’s petrified, we all are. We’re angry. We’re disappointed in the system.”
White Oprah on her child’s past fuck ups: “She did a really stupid thing. Thank God she didn’t hurt anyone….I know my daughter is clean and sober today. I know that for a fact. I’m not a doctor…and I’m not an attorney. I’m a mother. And I’m sitting here, as a mother, just worried about my child.”
White Oprah on I don’t even know: “This is not an OJ Simpson trial, which they made it out to be.”
This bitch just doesn’t get it. You could chop “IT” into fine lines and tell White Oprah to snort “IT” up and “IT” still wouldn’t absorb into what’s left of her brain. But at least she’s proving that she’s a loyal pimp who stands by her ho no matter what. I’ll give her that.