Put Everything On Spain!

July 9, 2010 / Posted by:

The World Cup final isn’t until Sunday so that gives you plenty of time to sell your organs to the Russian mafia, lease your kids to Maddox’s child army, turn your apartment into a Nazi whorehouse for the weekend (Mel Gibson will come) and then put all the money you make on Spain beating the Netherlands. You cannot lose, because Paul the Psychic Octopus has wrapped his Sylvia Browne-like tentacles around the lucite box with Spain’s flag in it. Paul is never wrong! And if he is, well we can all sit outside the welfare office together while chewing on calamari.

Also if Paul is right Bibi Eden owes him a blow job. Wait. Do octopuses even have peens? A peentacle?

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