For those of you looking for the perfect appetizer to give to your guests before serving them a canned whole chicken, I present to you The Candwich! The Candwich currently comes in three flavors (barf, barfier, and barfiest) and even includes a candy surprise. Hopefully, this candy surprise they are talking about will cleanse your mouth after you vomit up The Candwich into the can near your desk (coming soon: Canvom).
Not only is canned shit going to be a popular item in the Spears household (Leave her alone, making a simple 3-ingredient sandwich is hard), but this should also be in every single natural disaster kit right next to the dusty can of peas and space blanket. Because when you’re sitting on a giant pile of rubble that used to be your house, nothing will make you feel worse like biting into a shit-flavored corn syrup sammy. You might as well take that FML feeling all the way over the edge.