I once was dazzled by a chorus of glittery hearts floating around me right after I bit into a pepperoni Hot Pocket, so I don’t need St. Angelina Jolie to shed a tear for me. But those of you who have never experienced true love should take a little comfort in knowing that the almighty holy one feels sorry for you. In an interview with Parade (you can read the whole thing here), St. Angie lays it on thick when talking about love:
“I feel sad for someone who has never known love. Love elevates. You know, Brad would joke about me having this conversation about love. Love? It’s such a funny word. Brad can find certain phrases of poetry for it. I’m terrible at it. But I know it means wanting the best for the people you love, putting their interests above your own, always. Love does that. Love is what you live for.”
St. Angie needs to stop, because she’s giving cheese an inferiority complex. The cherubs stopped shooting people with love, because they were too busy using their arrows to gag themselves after reading this mess of a quote. Even Aphrodite texted St. Angie to let her know that she’s going a little overboard.
And someone really needs to get Maddox to sneak into Billy Goat Brad’s barn and steal his book of original poetry. You know Brad’s soul burps out some deep shit like: “Roses are red, violets are blue, Jennifer Aniston is a meanie, but I wuv you.”