Remember Caster Semenya? She’s the champion runner from South Africa who gave your silly ass the giggles because she has semen all over her last name? Caster is also the runner who had everyone and their cousin sticking their nostrils in her crotch, because there were rumors that she has a peen instead of a poon. Back in November, a source said that after several highly scientific tests were conducted (Note: Basically, they just compared her genitals to Khloe Kardashian’s) to determine Caster’s official gender, they discovered that she has both dude and lady parts. Specially, they said that Caster has two internal testicles. That’s two more testicles than Jon Gosselin has.
At the time, the source also said that the International Association of Athletics Federations would meet to decide whether or not Caster should be allowed to compete again. Well, there’s good news for Caster, because they have ruled that she can return to the track starting right now. They also said that Caster is a woman by their standards. Cut to Brooke Hogan giving Caster the nastiest stank eye, because she’s been waiting all her life for someone to say that about her.
“The process initiated in 2009 in the case of Caster Semenya has now been completed. The IAAF accepts the conclusion of a panel of medical experts that she can compete with immediate effect. Please note that the medical details of the case remain confidential and the IAAF will make no further comment on the matter.”
This whole thing has been such bullshit. Yes, Caster has the abs of a He-Man doll, but so does Jillian Michaels and is anybody accusing her of being a dude? Okay, bad example, let me try again. Yes, Caster has the biceps of a ripped pit bull, but so does Sheree from The Real Housewives of Atlanta and is anybody accusing her of being a dude? Shit. Another bad example. I’m totally not helping Caster’s cause.