July 3, 2010 / Posted by:

The soundtrack for this post is: “The Boo Is Mine

It was a little over one year ago when Mah Boo Anderson Cooper caused the dried up veins around my no-heart to fill with black tears when he showed off his new full-time whore Benjamin Maisani during a bike ride (Don’t get me started on that homewrecky bike) in NYC. And it’s one year later and Mah Boo is still making me cry into his cold dinner plate as I sit at the kitchen table waiting for him to come home while he’s at the gym with his WHORE! The voices in my head children are starting to ask for him!

Seriously, why are they at the gym anyways? Benjamin already has muscles on top of his muscles on top of his muscles. Bitch is a straight-up muscle hoarder! Why does he needs more muscles? When Benjamin and I eventually battle it out for ownership of Mah Boo’s giggle, I hope it’s in a eat-a-cupcake-off, because he could puncture my lung and break one of my ribs in a thumb wrestling competition.

And judging by the look on Mah Boo’s face, he knows he’s been caught! He also knows that his voicemail comment box at CNN is probably going to be stuffed with heavy breathing and non-stop crying messages. GUILTY!

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