And I can come up with about a thousand reasons for why someone would fist Lindsay Lohan in the mug. But anythatfistshouldgetanobelpeaceprize, while everyone in the club cheered and threw a parade for the Mike Tyson of waitresses, Lindsay Lohan Tweeted this message above. A message that might fill your body with endorphins and cause you to send a bouquet of thank you balloons to a waitress you never met! You can sign my name on the card too. I’ll give you a ten later.
Early this morning at Voyeur in L.A., Lindsay was sitting at a private booth softly serenading a bottle of Jack Daniels with her acoustic version of Klymaxx’s “I Miss You“, when a cocktail waitress (who was acting on behalf of the people of the world) delivered an unannounced whooping to her trick face.
Blohan Tweeted that she has no idea why Carvel’s future mascot would do such a thing. But Usweekly does! Their source has the story: “The waitress has a history with Doug Reinhardt, and Lohan was hanging out with him. She was jealous, and out of nowhere, the waitress punched her in the face! Doug didn’t want any part of it and went to the other side of the booth. Lohan ran out. Lohan went to a party at the nearby Rockstar House — and ran into the waitress again! Lohan showed up and cried because the waitress was there as well. Some birthday.”
So Lindsay Lohan not only got a surprise blow to the face, but it was over a frozen burrito heir who is famous for sucking the crotch crustaceans out of Wonky McValtrex?!
Just when you’re about to throw up your hands and shout “FUCK MY LIFE,” remember that things could always be worse. You could be Lindsay Lohan.
But you know, Lilo is going to get the last snort! Bitch is probably at the free clinic right now telling them that she’s going to need something stiff to soothe the pain in her face from getting punched. Leave it to Lilo to turn a humiliating experience into VICODIN!
Here’s a few pictures of Lilo pre-punch (in that denim shit) and post-punch (in the car).