Afternoon Crumbs

Everyone can get off the bar, because Matt Boner just won the wet t-shirt contest – Towleroad

Do the Twihards even excrete a teaspoon of panty cream when they see Ashley Greene in the flesh? – Egotastic!

Wrap a condom over yourselves, South Africa, because Wonky has landed – Lainey Gossip

This is exactly what Betsy Ross was hoping would happen when she created the American flag – Hollywood Tuna

Mister March’s eyebrow situation is in check (site NSFW) – Drunken Stepfather

I bet even that stuffed beaver won’t return Mel Gibson’s calls anymore – The Superficial

Marisa Miller wearing Gay Al’s favorite Sunday afternoon lawnmowin’ ensemble – Popoholic

Gisele Buttchin’s baby can already do something I can’t – Celebitchy

Every Victoria Beckham designed Range Rover will feature a stick on the seat for you to sit on so you too can have that signature Posh scowl on your face – Hollywood Rag

RiRi Woodpecker kissing on her piece – Just Jared

Amber Rose looking like a background extra from Beverly Hills Teens – ICYDK

When Basement Baby crawls up the stairs and attacks…. – Necole Bitchie

ASkars leaving Kate Bosworth in the dust – Popsugar

Can we get a cocktail waitress to punch Michael Lohan in the mouth hole already? – I’m Not Obsessed

America the beautiful IS RIGHT! – Cityrag