Tiger Woods Is Going To Leave Elin Broke!

July 1, 2010 / Posted by:

Okay, not really…. But last month, gold diggers all over the world gathered together and formed a circle around a Elin Nordegren statue (made out of recycled fire extinguishers, old Ambien bottles and golf clubs) after reading that she was about to receive one of the biggest divorce settlements in the history of forever.

The rumor was that Elin will soon collect almost $750 million from Tiger. The rumor was barfed up again earlier this week. However, TMZ is grabbing every aspiring gold digger’s boner and trying to break it by saying Elin isn’t getting $750 million.

Their sources say that Tiger Woods’ entire fortune isn’t even worth $750 million, so it doesn’t make sense that Elin would get that much. They wouldn’t spit up the exact amount, but they did say that she’s getting a lot more than she would have under the prenup. Tiger and Elin are expected to file for divorce any day now.

Tiger is a selfish bastard. He should give everything to Elin, because she’s earned it (not really, but gold diggers ride together 4 life). All he needs is a bed to lay his hos on (or a newspaper in an alley way in most cases) and a blank prescription pad!

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