Tiger Woods Is Going To Leave Elin Broke!

July 1, 2010 / Posted by:

Okay, not really…. But last month, gold diggers all over the world gathered together and formed a circle around a Elin Nordegren statue (made out of recycled fire extinguishers, old Ambien bottles and golf clubs) after reading that she was about to receive one of the biggest divorce settlements in the history of forever.

The rumor was that Elin will soon collect almost $750 million from Tiger. The rumor was barfed up again earlier this week. However, TMZ is grabbing every aspiring gold digger’s boner and trying to break it by saying Elin isn’t getting $750 million.

Their sources say that Tiger Woods’ entire fortune isn’t even worth $750 million, so it doesn’t make sense that Elin would get that much. They wouldn’t spit up the exact amount, but they did say that she’s getting a lot more than she would have under the prenup. Tiger and Elin are expected to file for divorce any day now.

Tiger is a selfish bastard. He should give everything to Elin, because she’s earned it (not really, but gold diggers ride together 4 life). All he needs is a bed to lay his hos on (or a newspaper in an alley way in most cases) and a blank prescription pad!

Our commenting rules: Don't be racist or bigoted, or post comments like "Who cares?", or have multiple accounts, or repost a comment that was deleted by a mod, or post NSFW pics/videos/GIFs, or go off topic when not in an Open Post, or post paparazzi/event/red carpet pics from photo agencies due to copyright infringement issues. Also, promoting adblockers, your website, or your forum is not allowed. Breaking a rule may result in your Disqus account getting permanently or temporarily banned. New commenters must go through a period of pre-moderation. And some posts may be pre-moderated so it could take a minute for your comment to appear if it's approved. If you have a question or an issue with comments, email: michaelk@dlisted.com

src="https://c.statcounter.com/922697/0/f674ac4a/1/"
alt="drupal analytics" >