Constantine Maroulis Is Going To Be Somebody’s Father

If you’re going to make the decision to violate your snatch by letting Constantine Mouralis stick his dick in, then you should at least do everyone a favor by shoving a cork in his peen hole before wrapping it in industrial strength plastic wrap covered in spermicide. Because if you don’t, you will find your vagina frowning at you for the rest of your days. But besides that, you also might find yourself knocked up with his baby! And that’s exactly what has happened to actress and singer Angel Reed.

Page Six says that Angel Reed was part of the chorus of Rock of Ages, but she quit the show after finding out she was 3-months pregnant with Connie’s kid. Connie, who is one of the stars of Rock of Ages, and Angel have been boning on-and-off for a few months. A source says, “Angel just gave her notice last week, and told friends on the show that she is pregnant. It’s been an open secret that she and Constantine have been together for a while.”

A rep for Rock of Ages refused to comment on this.

You know, instead of actually fornicating with humans, Connie should just stick to trying o butt fuck everything and anything with his eyes like he did on American Idol. The world is a much safer place that way.