Squints Is Jealous

June 29, 2010 / Posted by:

Whenever Renee Zellweger would watch her boyfriend Bradley Cooper work out with a hot female trainer named Ashley Conrad, she would squint with all her might in anger until her b-hole started blowing steam (the most action she’s gotten in a while). Apparently, Squinty became insanely jealous of Ashley and demanded that B. Coop stop working out with her.

A source tells The National Enquirer (via Showbiz Spy) that B. Coop doesn’t want to frazzle his beard, so he did as he was told. The source went on to say, “She forbade him from working out with any female trainer. Not wanting to rock the relationship, Bradley agreed to stop working out with the girlies.”

B. Coop’s master plan worked! Squinty finally took the bait after weeks of B. Coop coming home and talking about how Ashley’s heaving bosoms makes it hard for him to concentrate on working out. I would’ve loved to see the victorous smile on B. Coop’s face as he gazed into his new dude trainer’s bulging crotch while bench pressing. Success is a happy peen hole.

Or maybe Squinty knows what’s up, and she wants to make sure that she’s B. Coop’s sole face merkin.

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