White Hot Fever

June 28, 2010 / Posted by:

The sexiest witness of Jehovah was honored at the BET Awards last night for giving us a lifetime full of pussy-popping hip shimmies and dramatic facial expressions that make all your lips pucker. Prince graciously expected his award while wearing a tunic from Lisa Frank’s New Age collection with his own image on it. Only Prince (and Liza Minnelli….and the Golden Girls…and Steven Seagal) can get away with wearing a turtleneck with flared sleeves! Jehovah’s Witness should make that ensemble their official uniform. That would make me open up the door when they come a knocking.

Prince’s tribute also included a performance featuring Alicia Keys’s pregnant ass crawling on a piano, Patti LaBelle kicking her shoe off and Trey Songz making doves commit suicide. You can watch it here, but the real entertainment was going on in the audience courtesy of Prince. This is what the purple unicorn thought of Trey Songz acts of butchery:

AND THIS is what he emoted while watching Alicia Keys. This is the part where we takes notes.

Prince is reinventing the side-eye by adding a coy lip quiver. Sorry, Gabourey Sidibe, but the word “precious” is going back to Prince thanks to this move. The dude behind Prince knows what I’m talking about.

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