So This Happened Last Night

June 28, 2010 / Posted by:

If I was in the audience at last night’s BET Awards, I would’ve ran to the box office manager and demanded a refund after watching Chris Brown’s emotions whoop him to the point where tears started falling out of his eyes during his Michael Jackson tribute. As Joe Jackson will tell you (while he holds a switch over your head), there’s no crying in moonwalking! But that’s exactly what Chris did while trying to sing “Man in the Mirror.”

Detective La Toya was probably sitting in her suite at the Best Western muttering to herself, “Unprofessional…unprofessional….” Seriously, you won’t ever find La Toya breaking down while crotch thrusting in a MJ tribute performance at the opening of a cheese festival in Germany somewhere. No, you won’t.

Some seem to think that Chris Brown’s publicity overlords installed sacks filled with fake tears under his eyes so that his weeping could make the public forget about he might be the second coming of Ike Turner. But it didn’t look fake to me. I also don’t think that his weepiness had anything to do with Michael Jackson. Maybe that was the moment he realized that he’s Chris Brown. That would make us all bawl.

But in more important news, who in the hell took a bite out of John Legend’s hairline last night? Was Chris Brown filled with that much emotion that he just had to chew on something and John Legend’s hairline happened to be in his way?

This is a mystery that only Detective La Toya can solve.

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