Wearing clip-on bangs over her forehead and enough black eye jizz to keep Taylor Momsen’s lids covered for years, St. Angie Jo is on the cover of August’s Vanity Fair. Brangeloonies have already started camping out in front of their local newsstands, but the issue isn’t out until July 6th. VF is trickling out a few quotes from the interview and so far it seems that St. Angie talks mostly about her child army.
St. Angie confirms that Maddox is smarter than Megan Fox (which you thought was impossible, I know) and that Shiloh wants to dress like a boy. St. Angie describes Shiloh’s look as “Montenegro style” because that’s how everyone dresses over there.
MONTENEGRO STYLE = the phrase that fucking pays! I can’t wait to use that one. When don’t know bitches tell me that I’m dressed like I’m about to go buy something at Home Depot (aka butchilicious), I will throw up my nose, give them a haughty look and whisper, “It’s Montenegro style, honey.”
St. Angie on adding more members to the child army: “We’re not opposed to it. But we want to make sure we can give everybody special time. They’re kids now, and can play together, but they’re going to need a lot more talking in the middle of the night, like I did with my mom for hours. We want to make sure we don’t build a family so big that we don’t have absolutely enough time to raise them each really well.”
St. Angie on all the rumors: “There’s a cycle that goes through the newsstands— we’re separating, I’m pregnant, we’re getting married, we’re separating, I’m pregnant, we’re getting married. We’re not against getting married. It’s just like we already are. Children are clearly a commitment, a bigger commitment (than marriage). It’s for life.”
St. Angie cheesing all over Billy Goat Brad: “I keep telling Brad he owes me. He’s had a few months off in one of the most beautiful cities in the world with the children. And he’s such an artist and goes to the stone yards and the art exhibits, and loves being in such a cultural place.”
St. Angie on Shiloh wanting to be a dude: “Shiloh dresses like a little dude. Shiloh, we feel, has Montenegro style. It’s how people dress there. She likes tracksuits, she likes (regular) suits. She likes to dress like a boy. She wants to be a boy. So we had to cut her hair. She likes to wear boys’ everything. She thinks she’s one of the brothers.”
St. Angie on the kids’ personalities: “Mad’s a real intellectual, which I can take no credit for genetically. He’s great at school, great at history. He feels like he could be a writer or travel the world and learn about places and things. Zahara’s got an extraordinary voice and is just so elegant and well spoken. Shiloh’s hysterically funny, one of the goofiest, most playful people you’ll ever meet. Knox and Viv are classic boy and girl. She’s really female. And he’s really a little dude.”
But what about PAX! St. Angie straight up loaded the minivan at the rest stop, drove a few miles and then suddenly remembered Pax was not in the backseat. Pax was back at the rest stop crying on the curb about how she forgot about his ass! What kind of saint forgets one of her own kids? The halo over her head just tilted to the side and cracked a bit. Poor Pax. Without saying it, St. Angie basically described his whole look as Invisible Man style. DAMN HER!