Because The First Lohan Shit Show Wasn’t Bad Enough

June 28, 2010 / Posted by:

Besides the cameos from Nana Lohan, the reality show Living Lohan was a complete and utter piece of crusty shit. You would think that following a delusional pimp monster around is the stuff reality TV dreams are made of, but that show was about as entertaining as watching fake tanner dry on White Oprah’s parched asshole.

White Oprah put her job interview face on and never brought out her organic craziness in front of the cameras. She was using the show to manipulate us into thinking that the Lohans are this generation’s answer to the Cleavers. Nobody swallowed that one.

Anyways, White Oprah and her hos are going to try the reality show thing again. She queefed to Page Six, “We have already started filming. The cameras follow us in our daily lives and as we promote our businesses. I want to prove that we are a good, hardworking family and we don’t have the crazy lives that some people claim we do. The show will feature my kids, and Lindsay will also appear in some episodes, although she’s very busy filming and promoting her fashion lines. We’re discussing a deal with a major network.”

If White Oprah got a Mother Teresa mask permanently attached to her face, we’d still see her as a lunatic enabler who would suck the last breath out of a baby if she needed the oxygen, so bitch just needs to stop trying to convince us otherwise.

The only way my Tivo will touch this show is if it includes a full episode dedicated to White Oprah getting schooled and shit on by Fudgie the Whale. And I want it in 3D!

Here’s a few pictures of the soon-to-be Fox Reality TV Award loser leaving the Electric Daisy Carnival in L.A. on Saturday night.

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