Blind Items: I Guess, You Guess

June 25, 2010 / Posted by:

This actor is both creative and inventive. He is straight but he needs the helping hand of a man to get “ready” for his actress wife. This service is performed by his assistant. Once he is “ready”, the assistant bows out and the wife takes over. Another interesting detail is that our actor has trouble going down on his wife without the assistance of a sweet condiment like honey or fluff. Sounds like a sticky, messy situation for all involved. (Blind Gossip)

That actress wife is going to be pushing marshmallow honey bread out of her crotch oven in a few weeks if she doesn’t stop it with the Fluff shit. This blind item doesn’t really make sense, because dude can only get erect by the hand of another man, but yet he can keep the boner party going while doing a woman? Hm. Usually when things don’t make sense, I look at Tommy Girl, so that’s my guess. B

ut it’s totally not Tommy Girl since we know he wouldn’t lick on Stepford Katie even if her vagina looked like David Beckham’s face.

It was always assumed that this D list movie actress and her B list singer boyfriend broke up because he was cheating on her. It turns out though she was cheating on him. With his brother. (CDAN)

Hilary Duff and Joel Madden? Or Lindsay Lohan and Aaron Carter (back in the daaaay)?

Why is it that so many singers always seem to live up to the name of Diva? This B list performer is so wasteful, she’d make Al Gore cry. Among her crimes: She is known to leave her car idling for at least a half an hour before she gets into it so it is just the right temperature. She is paranoid about germs so she has her staff clean her toilets twice a day. Her refrigerator is stocked with fresh food every day and the food that is over a day old is thrown out. She also takes up to three showers every day. Not Christina Aguilera. (BuzzFoto)

Not Brit Brit, because she doesn’t take three showers a month and all the kinds of food she eats doesn’t age. I’ll go with JLo?

These two actors were a couple a long time ago. While they are both married to other people, their ties to each other are unbreakable, and they are always very nice to each other in public. Behind the scenes, though, it’s a different story. She is remarkably insecure about her looks and she still relies on him to prop up her fragile ego. He finds it hard to resist letting her cry on his shoulder sometimes. A couple of times, her tears have led to some comforting… which led to some more intimate physical contact… which led to some clothesless comforting. While she does want to have a baby with her husband, he seems to be shooting blanks, so if she turns up pregnant, we can all play a little guessing game as to the identity of the kid’s real father. (Blind Gossip)

Unbreakable = Bruce Willis = Bruce & Demi? And if this is them, then Ashton Kutcher shooting blanks is God’s way of telling us that he cares.

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