Open Post: Hosted By Bai Ling

June 24, 2010 / Posted by:

I must conduct some serious business stuff (or maybe it’s hood rat stuff?) for a few hours today, but I am leaving you in the more than capable hands of the fuckery-glazed femalien who was born out of an intergalactic butterfly’s vagina. Bai Ling shouldn’t be too much trouble. She’ll just be on the other side of room kissing herself in a mirror with BOTH lips. If she starts to use tongue or clit just close the dividing curtain, or take your pants off and enjoy. Either or. And if she gets stuck, just take a plunger to the back of her head and pry her off. It happens all the time.

Here’s Bai with Helen Mirren and her other Love Ranch co-stars at the Los Angeles premiere last night. Yes, Bai Ling and Helen Mirren in the same movie. It’s like the apocalypse is flirting with us.

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