Raise Your Pierced Peens, Prince Albert Is Getting Married!

June 23, 2010 / Posted by:

Prince Albert of Monaco, who has dated everyone from Angie Everhart to Morgan Fairchild (which is the greatest accomplishment in life), will get married for the first time at the age of 52. The Royal Palace announced this morning that Prince Pierced Peen is engaged to 32-year-old South African school teacher Charlene Wittstock.

Prince Al, who is the son of Grace Kelly thankyouvermuch, has a young son and an 18-year-old daughter from two different baby mamas. Apparently, They will never be able to wear the crown, because some stupid royal rule states that chirruns “born out of wedlock” can’t sit on the throne.

Prince Al and Charlene first went public with their relationship at the 2006 Winter Olympics in Turin. Shortly after, Charlene moved to Monaco to be with the prince. A royal source tells People that Princess Stephanie and Caroline are currently tutoring Charlene in royal protocol.

Where do I fill out an application for Princess Stephanie’s School of Royal Protocol, because you know the cafeteria has an open bar and the gym is a giant disco. I mean, this is probably the school anthem:

Sign me up!

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