Helen Mirren’s Chichis! Why Not, Right?

*Images removed per request. Boooo*

Above is a picture of Helen Mirren from New York Magazine looking like she got caught going pee pee in the tub. It’s like her urethra is sending her brain a message like, “I’m not dooooone.” And after the jump below is a picture of a topless Helen Mirren in the tub. But before we go there, let’s read some quotes from Helen about her new movie Love Ranch (where she plays the madam of a pussy peddling emporium) and other things.

If you look at Helen’s nipples without reading the quotes, everyone can point at you and call you a PERVY PERV. But if you read the quotes first, you get college credit. Or something like that:

Helen on wanting to be a bad bad girl: “I’m a would-be rebel—the good girl who’d like to be a bad one. It’s true! I haven’t grown out of that, have I? I’m still the good girl who wants to be a bad girl. But I’ll never make it as a bad girl … I’m not a prude or a moralist and I never have been, but I’m too fearful, too much of a wimp, really.”

Helen on what she said when the director of the movie (who is also her husband) asked her to spend the night in a brothel: “I said, ‘Read my lips: I’m not going to spend a night in a brothel.’”

Helen on what she learned after she gave in and spent the night in a brothel: “It’s amazing how quickly you get into dildos everywhere and pink-feather handcuffs. Within an hour you’re completely used to it.”

Helen on psychotic whores: “Susan Austin [the Mustang Ranch’s real madam] said you had to be tough, because maybe you do have 25 psychotic whores. A lot of them come from very dysfunctional backgrounds, and women together like that can be very dangerous.”

Helen on female celebrities bringing ho shit to the forefront: “I’m thrilled young girls are claiming their sexuality for themselves. I love bold women: Madonna and Scarlett Johansson—sexy and gorgeous, but not only that. And Miley Cyrus—fantastic! And Lady Gaga. I love the way she’s elevated pop to performance art, or dragged performance art down to pop, or maybe made a wonderful amalgam of the two.”

I’m going to wash out the thought that Helen Mirren thinks Miley Cyrus and Lady Caca are “fantastic” with her nipple-infused bath water. After the jump is the NSFW of Helen Mirren in the tub. Since we usually only see 20-something titties around here, it’s nice to finally look at some well-seasoned chichis. Chichis who have seen some shit! Chichis who can write their own memoirs! Anyways, enough of my rambling.

UPDATE: I had to close the bathroom door on Helen Mirren’s chichis, but you can click here to see her.