Gary Coleman Knew (Sort Of)

June 22, 2010 / Posted by:

Three months before Gary Coleman’s death, he went out and got a restraining order against his ex-wife Shannon Price because he knew that minion of Satan was up to some no good shit. Radar says that while Gary was in the hospital recovering from a seizure, Shannon was staying at his house without his permission. Gary seemed to think that Shannon would steal his things or cause damage to his house by chewing on the wooden banisters. The details from Radar:

The official documents were filed under John Doe VS. Jane Doe, which is why they weren’t discovered until now.

Coleman says that ex-wife Shannon Price has moved back into his home against his wishes while he is hospitalized.

And contradicting the picture that Price has painted of herself as a loving ex-wife, Coleman writes that Price “has shown a tendency to damage, destroy and steal my property and I believe she will continue to do so in my absence and while she is trespassing in my home.”

Coleman was granted the restraining order on February 19, 2010 but never served it on Price.

Gary’s lawyer said that even though they were both abusive towards each other, they would always forgive one another and get back together. That is why Shannon was staying at his house at the time she clobbered him on the head with a mallet of his death.

I was about to scream “EXHUME THE BODY! EXHUME THE BODY” but then I remembered Gary was cremated. GLUE THE ASHES BACK TOGETHER! GLUE THE ASHES BACK TOGETHER! Seriously, there has to be some evidence to put that ginger devil in the chokey.

If only Gary got the hint that Shannon was ungodly when he watched a crucifix turn upside down after she walked by it. Or if only Gary remembered that he had seen Shannon’s face years ago when he played “Bloody Mary” and her image popped up on the bathroom mirror. Yes, Gary, that’s why that ginger fugmonster of evil always looked so familiar.

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