Everybody Hates Tori

When Tori Spelling calls all her old 90210 cast mates, they either hang up on her face or pretend to be the maid and tell her they are dead and not to call again. That’s because they are all co-presidents of the I HATE TORI SPELLING club. That’s what Tori says anyway. During an interview with Ryan Gaycrest on his KIIS-FM radio show this morning, he asked her about Tiffani Thiessen. Tori said:

“She doesn’t talk to me anymore. All my cast members hate me. People say, ‘Do you mean during 90210?’ I say, ‘No, we were great friends during 90210. We were friends after 90210.’ They all came to my first wedding. All of a sudden I marry Dean McDermott, and I don’t know what happened. I lost all my cast members.”

Gaycrest said that as far as he knows, Tiffani does not have a dart board with Tori’s face on it down in her basement. Tori’s response to that was, “It’s my perception, and nonetheless, it’s a fun story.”

Some may think that Tori’s friends deleted her name from their address book after she sexed on a married dude while she was married, but I don’t think that’s why. Tori is sitting by herself in the cafeteria thanks to a little thing called Brenda Walsh-infused KARMA! When everybody was throwing shit at Brenda Walsh back in the olden days, Tori turned her back on her. Well, Karma is a bitch whose full name is Shannen Maria Doherty. This is also why Kelly Taylor has a permanent abscess on her taint (just go with me on that one).

Or maybe Tori’s old cast mates don’t talk to her, because they are afraid she’s going to seduce their children with a delicious feast so that she can devour them whole. That’s probably it.

via People