No Funeral For Gary Coleman

June 18, 2010 / Posted by:

Gary Coleman’s remains were cremated last night in Salt Lake City without a funeral, wake or any other kind of memorial. Nothing. Gary’s lawyer says that he didn’t want anyone fake crying and pretending they cared about him, so he wanted to be sent off quietly. Gary’s lawyer issued this statement to E! News:

“The proceeding was conducted in accordance with Mr. Coleman’s desires as expressed in his will that no funeral service, wake or other ceremony memorialize his passing

As for Gary’s ashes, they have been stored in an undisclosed location while his parents and that ginger devil Shannon Price fight over them. Shannon says that she wants to spread his ashes over the train tracks, because he loved trains so much. That bitch needs to pull the plug that operates her mouth, because she is lying. More like she wants to put a drop of his ashes into little baggies and then sell it for $5 a pop from a stand off the highway. The truth.

So that’s that. Now maybe Gary can rest in peace. And we’ll always have this picture of him carrying a dog wearing overalls.

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