Open Post: Hosted By Alexis Carrington And The Hats Of Royal Ascot

June 17, 2010 / Posted by:

It’s Royal Ascot times in England, which means ladies from all over throw flowers and foolishness on their head for Ladies Day!

A bouquet of polyester flowers which has sat on your memaw’s dining table for the good part of the last century….it can be a hat! A child’s diorama which won 4th place in the science fair….it can be a hat! The losing Sarah Jessica Parker sculpture from Work of Art….it can be a hat! Sienna Miller’s old dildo…..it can be a hat!

Seriously, these ladies just needed to smear their heads with glue and then then dunk that shit into Lady Gaga’s garbage can. Voila! A hat.

And since spotlights already follow Joan Collins wherever she goes, she decided to keep it demure and simple. Please tell me that Joan ripped at least one of those white gloves off her hands and used it to slap the cheek of one of her arch rivals. That is the only reason to wear white gloves.

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